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Pectoriloquy |

No Salt No Bacon FREE TO VIEW

Jan Ball
Author and Funding Information

Editor’s Note: Ms Ball writes, “I currently teach ESL at DePaul University in Chicago.”

Reproduction of this article is prohibited without written permission from the American College of Chest Physicians. See online for more details.


Chest. 2012;142(3):806. doi:10.1378/chest.11-2584
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I leave the lunch to talk to Ryan in the gazebo
and he assures me that Amy has over-reacted,
that the three days he spent having tests
in the hospital showed that he was in perfectly
good physical health despite the little balance
problem he had (which Amy described as listing
like a sailboat-why they went to the hospital
in the first place before they found that a piece
of plaque had lodged in his brain causing the
imbalance) and I can see that he looks strong,
however, a bit too lean for my taste, from all
the swimming like a torpedo that he does regularly
although not in summer when there are too
many serious swimmers competing for lanes,
he explains in his quivering yet sartorial voice
and again he assures me of how much other exercise
he does- the rowing machine and the twenty minutes
on the treadmill, how Amy and he eat healthily:
grilled fish three times a week, no salt, no bacon,
no sugar, a little wine, nothing to worry about,
how he tries to avoid stressful situations like
people who disagree with him about socialized
medicine, I think. I say, I thought you were
on a heart monitor, so he opens his shirt to show
me the metal contraption on his chest as if it were
an Olympic medal then I rejoin the ladies inside
for the tiramisu that Kelly brought.


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