Pectoriloquy |


Robert Joseph Foley, MA
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Editor's Note: The author writes: “My poetic endeavors have only begun after a 34-year career as a teacher of English and Drama in Westchester County, New York.”

—Michael Zack, MD, FCCP

Reproduction of this article is prohibited without written permission from the American College of Chest Physicians (www.chestjournal.org/site/misc/reprints.xhtml).

© 2010 American College of Chest Physicians

Chest. 2010;137(2):491. doi:10.1378/chest.09-0801
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Hey, look at me, I’m checking out;
Never had the chance to get the gout.
I vaguely heard of common cold
Years before I would grow old.
Perfect health has marked my life;
Never caught the surgeon’s knife.
No puncture wounds or nasty gash;
Never scratched an itching rash.
Sprains, breaks, muscles pulled? Not me.
Check NO—— for any ectomy;
Or for that matter itis
As in arthr, gast’ or laryngitis.
No broken bones. No kidney stones;
No wretched back that ached for Doans
Never victimized by surgeries;
Never plagued by allergies.
No pressure pills for water bloat;
No Chloraseptic for sore throat.
Never had a Flu injection;
Went through life without infection.
No history of running nose;
Life untouched by manic's lows
Not too fat, not too thin;
No incisions in my skin.
Mumps and measles? chicken pox?
No. Not once the need for Condylox.
Don’t recall a cancer scare;
Ticker always was in good repair.
Reached this age with senses all intact.
I find that quite a stunning fact.
There might have been an odd hangnail;
A fleeting time when I looked pale.
But never even took a pill.
I can’t imagine being ill.




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