Hey, look at me, I’m checking out;
Never had the chance to get the gout.
I vaguely heard of common cold
Years before I would grow old.
Perfect health has marked my life;
Never caught the surgeon’s knife.
No puncture wounds or nasty gash;
Never scratched an itching rash.
Sprains, breaks, muscles pulled? Not me.
Check NO—— for any ectomy;
Or for that matter itis
As in arthr, gast’ or laryngitis.
No broken bones. No kidney stones;
No wretched back that ached for Doans
Never victimized by surgeries;
Never plagued by allergies.
No pressure pills for water bloat;
No Chloraseptic for sore throat.
Never had a Flu injection;
Went through life without infection.
No history of running nose;
Life untouched by manic's lows
Not too fat, not too thin;
No incisions in my skin.
Mumps and measles? chicken pox?
No. Not once the need for Condylox.
Don’t recall a cancer scare;
Ticker always was in good repair.
Reached this age with senses all intact.
I find that quite a stunning fact.
There might have been an odd hangnail;
A fleeting time when I looked pale.
But never even took a pill.
I can’t imagine being ill.